Must Haves! A Book No Parent Should be Without

Have you ever found yourself saying the same things over and over to your kids?

Do you stand stupefied by something you see or hear in your kids and realize you need a change of direction….quick!

I have.

In the last few years, I have found some resources from an excellent team that are all home runs!  Each time I read something written by this dynamic duo, I am empowered with easy to read and quickly applicable discipline to raise my children.

Guess what! This duo has just finished their most recent book and I want you to know it is a “must have” .  The Christian Parenting Handbook by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller will give you 50 heart-based discipline strategies that you can use for kids from ages 2 to 18.  It is what I call a “nightstand book” as it will be one that you will want to keep close by to refer to over and over again as different things come up with your kids.  They give you practical strategies to use with your children rather than just telling you how your kids should behave—-love that!  They emphasize the relational aspect of parenting and how to separate firmness from harshness.  You will read solutions for sibling conflict and how to teach kids to be solvers rather than whiners.

Turansky and Miller are founders of the National Center for Biblical Parenting.  They have written several books and this one pulls many of the strategies discussed in various books all into one excellent resource.

If you purchase the book this week, April 29th -May 5th, you can also get $400 worth of parenting resources FREE…yep….you read that right—Free.  Too good to be true?  Check it out for yourself!

I read an advance copy of the book and couldn’t stop highlighting, underlining and placing stars…it has so much you will want to place in your parenting toolbox.

I encourage you to get a hard copy of the book from a major book distributor this week so you can also get the $400 worth of Free resources which includes an electronic copy of the book and many other excellent items.

My only regret about getting this book now is that it wasn’t available 10 years ago when I was beginning this discipline process with my toddler.  But I have it now and it is never too late to make changes for the good.  Don’t wait- add this book to your parenting resources today!

As a member of The Christian Parenting Handbook Launch Team, I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review and the opportunity to promote related giveaways and activities to my readers.

All opinions are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with FTC Regulations.

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Must Haves!

Each family has to find their own rhythm and beat but there are some tools that every family should have as a part of that process. As I discover a “must have” item, I’m going to share it with you because this blog is about Recipes for the Table and for Life.  So when I find an ingredient to help the recipe for family life, I want to share it with you as a good family life is even more important than a good meal on the table!

This first tool I want to share with you is perfect for teaching the Bible in a creative and innovative new way.  Phil Vischer and his team at Jellyfish Labs created the What’s in the Bible? DVD series and it is exceptional!  My girls enjoy the storytelling, the songs and the characters that explain all kinds of Bible history, explain what different words mean, and just do an all around top-notch job of explaining God’s story.

The series now includes all of the Old Testament and two DVDs in the New Testament (as of April 23, 2013).  Each DVD has two 25-minute episodes.  The focus audience is Kindergarten through 5th grade but I can guarantee that if you watch with your kids you are going to learn some new things too!  We don’t have every single volume yet in our family library but I’m sure we will one day.  The volumes we do own we have watched over and over again.  We even purchased a CD of the songs to take with us on our long drive last summer from Pennsylvania to Texas.

You will not be disappointed in this series.  It is fun, engaging and educational.  I’ve included a video from the creator, Phil Vischer, from the very beginning of the project.  He shares why he created this series.

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Pondering Christmas

“But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19

My Mom has always loved that verse that comes from the book of Luke in the Bible in the passages that share about the birth of Christ.  The verse has become a favorite of mine too.  I think any mother can relate to Mary here.  I think it is important that we see that Mary didn’t worry that her house wasn’t perfect for company (heck, she wasn’t even in a house but a stinky stable!…well I’m inferring it was stinky but ya get the idea).  Mary wasn’t obsessed over the fact she didn’t have anything to serve her guests.  Nor does she seem bothered that her son is lying in a manger rather than on a soft bed over at the inn.

She simply takes in the scene and ponders on it.  Actually she doesn’t just take it in but she “treasures up” everything going on.

She lived the life God had placed before her, embracing every step of the way.

What an example for us.  I’m pretty sure God allowed that verse to be a part of the Luke passage on Christ’s birth story to help Moms.  Sometimes we get so busy doing, creating, entertaining, etc that we don’t simply enjoy the life God has given us.

Was Mary’s life easy?  I don’t think so.  She was pregnant, not married, traveling right at the time she was due.  She had no real place to rest and strangers were coming to visit the same night she gave birth.

This Christmas I have determined to enjoy—to not get rushed and hurried and not to think something had to be done.  Rather I want to focus on the real reason for the season.  I want to help my family enjoy the holiday and not get caught in the Christmas-Crazies.

The last few years have brought unexpected change to our household; but one of the pleasant impacts of the change was it allowing me to realize the need to treasure and ponder.

I pray that you will take the time this holiday to stop, reflect and treasure up all that God has given you….even in the stinky stables of life He has blessed us with so much.

 

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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Thanksgiving

Wow!  Thanksgiving is next week.  I can’t believe it.  Recently I had the privilege to guest post on the fun and informative blog Play! Eat! Grow!.  There I shared in one post several of the things I have blogged over the years here regarding how I prepare for the actual meal on Thanksgiving.  But as anyone knows that has hosted the big day AND hosted guests in her home leading up to that big day….there is a LOT more to plan than one meal.

My meal planning is coming along thanks to the tips I shared at Play! Eat! Grow! on November 14.  See…I’ve already been shopping:

Here are many of the shelf items that I purchased this week.

Then there is the refrigerator…..

Remember don’t worry about how much butter or sour cream….just enjoy!

One thing that I do is mark the special Thanksgiving items with a “T”.  This reminds me not to use it and also lets my family know that it has a higher purpose at a later time.

I don’t just think about food as I prepare for the week but also all the other little things you need to have when hosting the meal and having house guests.

Paper Goods:

• paper towels
• toilet paper
• paper plates for leftovers on Thursday and those spur-of-the-moment dessert needs
• napkins (of course one must have cute napkins to go along with the paper plates!)
• good “to go” containers for those that live close enough to take some of the bountiful meal home with them at the end of the day

Cleaning Items:

• Dishwasher detergent- it is my nightmare to run out of this and be forced to wash everything by hand after standing all day to prepare the meal.
• Clorox wipes- quick swipes of the bathrooms

Food things that are not a part of the Big Meal:

• Easy Breakfast for Thursday morning—This year Entenmann‘s won sometimes it is Pillsbury.
• Snacks- chips, dips, veggies to munch
• Amoroso’s rolls for leftovers  (Like I’ve said before…If God ever takes us from PA, I will miss Amoroso’s rolls.)
• Sandwich items for lunches leading up to Thanksgiving
• Easy meals for the evenings leading up to Thursday (I’ve been known to freeze a meal or two and pull it out during this week.)
• Coffee from my favorite place—a treat to myself!

I know the list above is not an exhaustive list but it is a great start and should prime the pump for other things you need to prepare in advance so that you can enjoy the holiday.  It is a time to be thankful not to be ticked off.  So take some time to think through the entire week and see what you may need to do (or give up on) in order to make this a holiday to smile about.

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Snacks–our afterschool treats!

This year I have tried to have a snack out for my girls when they come home from school.  It is funny how quickly they adapted to this as one day I did not have anything out and my youngest said “Mom, where is our snack?” just as soon as we walked in the door.  (Of course I replied “In the pantry!”.)

The snacks are mainly just a way of letting my kids know that I’ve been thinking about then and anticipating their arrival.  It is fun to hear their reaction on days when it is something a little special.

Below I’ve shared some pictures I’ve taken of a few of our snacks this fall.

First Day of School Snack- cookies!

This snack included three kinds of cookies….two were Joe Corbis’ “throw down” cookies as I call them (frozen dough) and then I made chocolate chip cookies that afternoon as I know they are a family favorite.  The flip flop notepads I purchased back in June to give the girls when school ended but forgot about them.  I found them right at the end of summer and decided to give them to them as a summer-ending kind of thing.

 

Ah, Rice Krispie treats….who doesn’t love these?

I can’t make Rice Krsipie treats without thinking of those commercials with the mom throwing flour on her face to make it look like she has slaved and labored over the preparation of these treats.  They really are easy to make…not sure why I don’t do it more often.

 

A little bit of everything: Store-bought cookies, Grapes, and Homemade Gingerbread

We love those Lofthouse cookies from the grocery store but  no one needs to eat a ton of them in one sitting.  So we matched them up with some other treats for this after school snack.

 

Strawberry Jam and Saltines

My Mom used to have this snack ready for us.  It is a little sweet and a little salty—perfect!

 

Apple Spice Drop Cookies and Pear Slices

My Daughter #1 loves these cookies.  I was making dinner for a friend and needed a dessert so I was able to kill two birds with one stone this day—snack and dessert.  The pears were just as popular though with the daughter #1 and #2.  They can’t get enough pears this fall.

 

A quick Halloween treat!

It was fun to hear the girls react to this snack when they came into the dining room.  They were so excited and impressed.  The best news is that it takes absolutely no baking and hardly any time to make these seasonal treats.  I saw them last year in a Food Network magazine and pulled the page out to keep.  You simply need Nutter Butter cookies, marshmallow fluff and black decorating gel.  So easy and so fun.  And yes, they did eat the pears that were on the tray too!

Now, I didn’t photo the box of cheez-its (cheddar jack), the bowls of goldfish, nor the snack mix….those are some of our go-to snacks around here.  The main thing is just having something ready for them when they come in the door.  It is my non-verbal way of saying “Hey, I’ve been looking forward to you being home…let’s catch up over a snack.”

 

 

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Sweet or Sour

Today has been one of those days that I would love to be able to play over and over and over again.  It wasn’t anything crazy and remarkable, just a day when I look back and I realize how much I love my family and how wonderful they are.  When I started this blog a few years ago, it took on this “recipes for the table and for life” tag line.  Most of the time I share recipes for the table- those seem much easier to come by!   On occasion though, there are things that I realize are great recipes for life and just have to share.

Today has been one of those days.

• I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with every member of my family.
• I spent 5 hours out with my girls running errands buying stuff not for us (ok, we did pick up some candy as a treat and some contact solution for Dad since were were going by Wal-Mart too—-what errand run is complete without Wal-Mart?!) but everything was really for stuff at church and we didn’t kill each other and I didn’t have to break up any arguments.
• We started our day round-robin reading from the book of Proverbs.  Which is something we have done a few times already this summer.
• We had a great conversation at dinner about what it means to be a team thanks to the imom.com conversation starters.  Then my family indulged me in creating a family cheer.  I have yet to hear them all say it, but they sure do get a laugh out of seeing me do the cheer!
• We ended the night watching a movie together– which we checked out for free from the Media library (free 7-day rentals!).  We watched Cheaper by the Dozen.  I thought it was a remake of an old movie….but I think I was thinking of With Six you get Egg Rolls.  Anyhow, the movie was hilarious and we laughed and then I almost cried at other points. It was great to be together and hear the laughter and see the smiles on each face.

The last time I can remember a day that I wanted to recapture was just over a year ago when our family experienced our first Phillies game.  It was an awesome evening.  The weather was perfect, the seats were great (very high up, but still great), the Phillies won, and we all had a blast.  Then the next day my world crashed—I was told that my job of eleven years no longer needed my skills.  Ouch.  Life is like that, ups and downs…ins and outs…sweet and sour.

The downs, outs and sours help us appreciate the ups, ins and sweets so much more.

Today has been one of the good days and it wasn’t because we were at Disney or some other crazy, fun vacation spot but it has been a good day because of the tried and true ingredients of

• Time
• Togetherness
• Laughter

We took time to start our day with the One who gave us to each other.

We took time to enjoy each other and to talk.

We helped each other out.

We were a family.

Yep, this might just be my favorite recipe yet!

The great thing about this recipe is that it works for the ups and the downs.  Sure we all prefer the ins to the outs but it is family that helps us through it all.

Everyday isn’t like today.  Just last week I was ready to cut holes in the bottom of each child’s door to pass food through and let them come out on Labor Day.  Yep, our summer got off to a bumpy start even with all my planning and wishing.  I mention that so you know that life is not all “Norman Rockwell” around here!

I know that tomorrow is a new day.  I have no idea what the future holds but I know the One who holds the future.

I’m so glad that my family is with me regardless of if it is sweet or sour.

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A “Duh” Moment…Well, actually, Two Today

Sometimes things hit me and I think…really Becki?  Are you just figuring that out?

Today I had some time to run errands all alone in my cool mini-van.  I find that I have some of the best conversations with God while driving—always have, even before the cool mini-van.  This morning I was praying for my girls as I pulled out onto the main highway near me.  I was trucking along (or would that be “vanning” along???) and praying that God would shape my girls into the women he wants them to be and to help Brad and I be the parents they need.  The word “need” struck me and I thought “Oh, there are so many needs that I have in the area of parenting” and then a small voice whispered

“I will supply all your needs”

Duh.

The LORD reminded me about his words in Philippians 4:19.  I realized that everything I need as a parent He will supply to me in just the right doses at just the right time.  Through daily time with my Heavenly Father in prayer and reading His book, he will guide me in this parenting path.  A quote that I’ve seen on several facebook walls this week is from Corrie Ten Boom and says “If God sends us on stony paths, He provides strong shoes.”  I like this quote.  It reminds me that just because I am seeking the Lord and His will for my life that I am not guaranteed smooth paths but He will provide the right shoes for the path.

Later in the day I had a tiny little pity-party while standing beside a huge mound of clean linens.  I had washed them earlier in the day and threw them in the chair to fold later and now it was “later”.  As each of my girls did there thing after dinner, there I was standing and folding them all by myself.  I even asked one (in a nice, embracing, hopeful voice) “Hey, why don’t you help me fold?”  And she lovingly replied…”I’m going to go and get ready for dance.”  Ugh.  So I sat there thinking…I sure wish my family would look for ways to be helpful.  Don’t they realize that one of the best ways to say “I love you Mom” is to help me with a chore?  I guess Gary Chapman would say my Love Language is “Acts of Service”.  (Full disclosure here…I said “family” but my handsome fella does a good job with this already and on Monday he crossed off a ton of things on our to-do list and I felt so very loved!)

Soon after we were driving to dance and Casting Crowns was blaring on our CD player.  This particular song was “What if His People Prayed”.

And it hit me.

Have I prayed that my girls would look for ways to be helpful?  Maybe a few times, but not with consistency.

Duh

I am thankful that God uses the quiet times and the blaring, loud times to speak to me.  He is always with me and always desiring to guide me if I will just listen and obey….Duh.

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The Hamster Wheel of Motherhood

It is Monday as I write this post.  My kids are off to school, my husband is back from his business trip, and the clean house that was here on Thursday has somehow disappeared!

I look around me and I have

rooms to dust…again.

clothes to wash….again.

piles to sort through…again.

It seems that I keep saying the same things to my kids…over and over again. 

Where is your ______ for school today?

When I say put the _____ away, it means in the actual place that it belongs…not on the counter top in the bathroom (as with the hairbrush and hairspray) or on the floor in your room (like the million books I asked you to take to your room that were on the dining room table)

Then there are the

meals to plan

groceries to buy

family devotions to plan

Didn’t I do all this last week, and the week before and the week before that??????

Help!  I seem to be stuck on this wheel and can’t get off.

But then I think…do I really want off this wheel?

My family, yes they can push my buttons with the best of them, but they are the most important thing to me in the world.  My calling is to be here for them….to be present.  I guess sometimes that means to be present amongst the piles.  I need to remember that it is the people, the relationships, that are the most important thing.

So, rather than jump off my wheel…I think I will go and spend some time refueling so I can keep running and running.  How will I refuel?  I’m going to grab my Bible and my journal and go spend some time with my Heavenly Father.  I’m going to sit at His feet and let Him recharge me and direct my path.  Then I can keep this wheel moving in the right direction!

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Let’s Give ‘em Something to Talk About….

Hey there!  You probably know how important I think dinner time is for each family.  One of the main reasons we should strive to eat together is so that we can talk and build family relationships stronger.  Well, I have to admit lately our dinner conversations have been fairly flat.  I could list all kinds of excuses why this might be right now BUT they would be excuses.  I need to get things going….yes it is up to me.  I have more time to think about these kinds of things so I should do something about it.  I need to come up with something for us to talk about!

Today I picked up my Thriving Family magazine.  I guess I had never finished reading the last issue.  It is chock full of some great things.  One item in there is “Let’s Talk” by Mary E. DeMuth.  The theme of the article is creating a home that nurtures honest conversation.  At the end of the article it gives a way to go online for some conversation starters.

I immediately went down to my computer and found the list of starters.  I copied and pasted into a word doc and now have them printed on some green paper.  I plan to cut them apart and put them in a jar.  I figure each child can pull one out for us to discuss each night at dinner.  I hope they spark our conversations at our table and maybe your table too!

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Life is about Choices

This morning my youngest was complaining that she was cold.  I reminded her that she had a nice warm robe hanging in her closet that might help her.  To which she replied, “But then I would have to leave my orange roll.”  (A favorite “special breakfast…thanks Pillsbury!)

I said “Life is all about choices” and she said “No it isn’t; it is about God.”

I am happy that this would be something she would say to me as we talk about life and why we live it.  I am extremely happy after the day I had yesterday with my two girls.  It is so frustrating to try to do all the “right” things yet not see your kids living a life that reflects all the “right” things.  Yesterday my handsome fella had to step in and talk to the girls about how poorly they were treating me.  I am not looking for accolades of praise for everything I do, but I would just like nice words or no words at all.  It seems that I don’t ever please my girls.  I hear lots of heavy sighs, cries of “I’ll never get….” and “why nots”.

I try hard to say “yes” as much as I can but there are some things I just can’t change.  Like yesterday when one of my girls said that Halloween was on Monday and I said that it was not this monday but the next so a little over a week.  She argued with me and then got angry about it.

It is a calendar.  I don’t write it.  I can’t change it.

Then there was the child that wanted a certain “pattern block”.  I had tried to get some better descriptions from her as I was not aware of anything we owned called a pattern block.  For two days I had been trying to figure this out and finally I thought of something it could be.  So on Friday, while the girls were at school, I went out the storage shed and opened up some of the boxes we packed up this summer when trying to sell our house.  I was thankful to find what I thought were the “pattern blocks” in the fourth box I opened.  I was so proud and put them on the table so she would see them when she got home.

Her response went something like this– Mom, these AREN’T pattern blocks.  Now I will NEVER have pattern blocks.  These AREN’T them.

So tell me….please…what are they.  I’ve been trying for days.

I did say to this child.  It is ok if these are not the right thing.  But could you try to say it nicer.  Something like “Mom, thanks for trying to find my blocks, but this isn’t what I was talking about.”

These are just two examples of the “fun times” we had right after the girls came home yesterday.

Then later in the evening as we were leaving a friend’s house after our small group Bible study (Brad was at work and not with us).  I was standing at the door getting a few more minutes of chatting in and the girls went to the van.  The van was in front of another house’s yard and the door was closed.  But what could I hear from the front door???

Yes, I could hear my two precious girls yelling at each other and screaming.

Ahhhh, it warms a mom’s heart to hear that as you stand talking to a friend.

I used the remote opener to open the door and let them know I was aware of the situation.  After the doors closed it was just seconds before I could hear it going again.  (Sigh)

I got in the van and didn’t scream, but instead I said “Girls I don’t understand it.  You go to church, Bible club, Pioneers, we have devotions as a family….yet I see little evidence of what you are learning.  I see little fruit.  What kind of trees are you?  What kind of fruit are you producing?  If you are applying what you are learning in all these places then I will see love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  But I’m not seeing it.”

They got still and quiet.

I turned on the van and we drove away.

I used to say when I taught school that I felt like I was hitting my head against the wall—saying the same things over and over but no one was getting it.  I’m at that same place as a Mom.

As a teacher I would reflect and adapt.  So as a Mom I’m trying the same thing.

Life IS about choices.  I need to choose as a Mom to strive to raise daughters who know, love and serve him.  I need to be doing that myself in order to teach them.  I need to make sure that I am adjusting to the culture of my kids in a way that will reach them.  My kids are only with me for a season.

By the way—the “pattern blocks” were eventually found after Dad talked with the child and she came to me and did a much better job of conversing with me about what she meant by “pattern blocks”.  She was willing to answer my questions to help me understand.  We found what she was looking for on the shelf in her room, right by all the things she plays with daily.  And for the child that was cold….still as I type this at 10:30 on Saturday morning she doesn’t have her robe on but instead is curled up on the sofa under a sofa pillow to keep warm.

Ah, I love my family.

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